I’m back! Did anyone miss me? I hope so, because I sure missed all of you. I think this may be the first time I have gone so long without doing a blog, missing three Fridays in a row. Hopefully this doesn’t result in me losing readers, which I never actually considered. At any rate, it was nice to check out for a while and recharge the proverbial (Canadian taxpayer funded) batteries.

 

I was going to do one last week but it felt inappropriate given the frivolous subject matter of this one to publish it on such a solemn occasion as the 25^th anniversary of 9/11.

 

DID ANYTHING IMPORTANT HAPPEN WHEN I WAS AWAY?

 

I think not, or I would have heard about it for sure. No scandals, trade war escalation or emergent Canadian separatist movement or anything like that, right? No energy industry gyrations? Iran was escalation? Out of control Houthis? NFL Season kickoff? Everyone realizes it’s still summer (even if the weather doesn’t) and we all just want to relax, right? After all, that is why I felt it was OK to take so much time off.

 

Like we did all through the end of July and a lot of August.

 

And like every year I am going to revisit that time off with you, my dear readers and share some pithy observations, maybe even up to ten of them, that came to me during my travels.

 

Unlike previous years, this trip was not an epic European expedition, not was it a weird Golden Triangle like the year we did Calgary to New York to Cancun to Calgary.

 

This vacation saga was different for a number of reasons.

 

First and foremost is that we had to plan the trip around the fact that both kids were packing up and going to University out of town. Leaving us empty-nesters for the first time in 21 years. Where did that even come from? Aren’t the kids still toddlers? But I guess that is for another day.

 

At any rate, circumstances dictated destination and we found ourselves planning a cobbled together multi-destination vacation, the vast majority of which was the two of us travelling and hanging out together – and me doing thousands of kilometres of driving, in what I called the “summer of Enterprise”. Holy cow!

 

For those who wish to know and obsess about such things, our series of random adventures worked out as follows:

 

• 7 days in Southwest Ontario to accommodate one kid going to theatre camp which not only included lovely stops in Stratford and Elora but also an eye-opening multi-night stay in Brampton (yes, Brampton, not Brantford) where my wife attended a convention while I put kilometres on the car commuting from Brampton to downtown Toronto to visit my dad. A bizarre highlight of this trip was that we were all together for a day and our only (last) vacation meal as a family together was at a roadside Harvey’s off the 401 in Milton en route to Waterloo for a drop off. For the record, Harvey’s was NOT a beautiful thing. Sadness. Another childhood memory shattered.

 

• Trip number 2, executed mere days after returning from trip number 1 was our journey to Stillwater Oklahoma to punt our oldest off at Oklahoma State University (Go Pokes!). OSU is an amazing school and she is going to have the best year of her university years there. Stillwater is a small town so the economic impact the school has there is enormous and they are “all about” the school. That spirit and support is quite distinct from what we see at many Canadian schools. We took advantage of our time there to do some driving and exploring and got to do my annual oil pilgrimage. This time to Cushing Oklahoma, which is as we all know the epicentre of the oil industry in North America and where WTI is theoretically priced. The number of storage tanks there is remarkable but the town itself appears to have seen better days, at least compared to nearby Stillwater which has the university. I guess if you are only storing billions of dollars woirth of oil and not extracting sufficient rent for being surrounded by an environmental calamity waiting to happen this is what you can expect – there is a lesson in there somewhere. Despite the monumentally oppressive heat, we loved our time in Stilly and are headed back for Homecoming weekend and a Big 12 matchup with the hated Colorado Buffaloes and that Deon character. Go Pokes!

 

• Trip number 3 happened about 4 days after we got home from Stilly and was a trip for three for six days to Iceland. Because that is what we do in the summer. Look for ice. Why Iceland you may ask? Well, we hadn’t been there, everyone says it’s amazing and the direct flights from Calgary were super reasonable. So off we went and you know what? Iceland is… Amazing. We had the best time there. Food was great, Reykjavik is surprisingly modern and hip, hotels were top notch, the waterfalls, tectonic collision spots, beaches and scenery were spectacular and the whole place was fascinating. Weather was what it was – rain, mist, sun, no one seemed to really care. Highly recommend this as a destination. I even went to a spa and enjoyed it. We put about 1200 km on the Enterprise rental and could have done more.

 

• After getting back from Iceland we caught our collective breaths for a few days before packing up and heading the Sackville New Brunswick to put a lid on the empty nest and dropped our youngest off at Mount Allison University. A town and school that put my judginess about Canadian schools vs American schools to shame. I guess my beef is with “non-destination” or city schools and their seeming lack of community. Mount A and Sackville was every bit as welcoming as Stilly and OSU, but in a uniquely Canadian and Maritime way. I could describe it, but I don’t want to break the magic. But the first few weeks feels more reminiscent of summer camp than the harsh reality of post-secondary panic. I’m sure it will be nose to the grindstone eventually but I will keep my fantasy going for now. While there we travelled to PEI over the Confederation Bridge (which in a previous life I did some financial modelling in support of a private placement into) and did a trip to Funday National Park and Shediac – the lobster capital. On a side note, we also went to Magnetic Hill in Moncton. If there is a more ridiculous and brazen tourist attraction trap on the planet, let me know. All I can say is that if Canadians can convince unsuspecting drivers to fork over $10 for the privilege of driving to a spot on the road, putting their car in neutral and letting it roll backwards then we should have no trouble at all with this whole “{trade war” nonsense.

 

Alrighty, observation time. Some are general, some are specific. As I say every year doing this, perspective is everything and sometimes it is worthwhile to take yourself out of your comfort zone and look at things from the other side and you will find that things that you assumed to be true are not, things you held to be fundamental are not and the people you thought were telling it like it is? They most assuredly are not.

 

Before I get into my observations, I just want to say that I am forever grateful for the circumstances in my personal and professional life that allows our family to live our lives as we do. The privilege that accompanies these trips is not to be denied – I am acutely aware that in a world where housing and groceries are often becoming luxury items for whole swaths of society that my observations might grate on a few. But rest assured my lens on the world comes not from a peak, but more from peeking my head over the hedge to see what is going on. And while we do what we can to shelter our kids from the realities of inflation, economic insecurity and income inequality, I know that they take in everything they see and compare it to their own lives, even if they are reluctant to fess up to it when we ask.

 

1. If you think that the transition to electric vehicles is going to be some instantaneous smooth ride over the next five years you need to get out of your bubble. Cars are everywhere. Southern Ontario is one of the most dense places in North America and everyone uses a car to get around. EV Infrastructure is there but not visibly penetrating the market – in any way. There is a difference between a couple of chargers at a service station or a few dedicated parking spots at hotels and transformational infrastructure. Has anyone who thinks EV’s are taking over the world actually been anywhere outside of their bubble? I would bet that maybe 5% of the cars we saw were EVs. Tesla is not in the majority. Range anxiety is actually not a thing. But access to charging is. You cannot mandate a switch from ICE vehicles without infrastructure. Gas? Diesel? Electric? Who gives a sh** when you are white knuckling on one of Ontario’s mega highways while being tailgated by a semi, stuck in a one-hour construction delay or following the goat track Google Map instructions past mile after mile of corn-fields as long as the engine keeps running, the brakes work and you know at the end of your journey you can load up for the next leg! Then you go to a place like Iceland or Oklahoma where the distances between population is actually even more dire and you realize what an enormous task it is going to be to electrify everything.
2. Lack of knowledge about energy and where it comes from is not a uniquely Canadian or American thing. And don’t think that Albertans get a pass on this either. We like to brag about our oil and gas prowess and industry, but we are woefully ignorant when it comes to how our industry actually works.Does anyone even know where the first commercial oil well in North America (and thus basically the world) was “drilled”? I didn’t. But now I do. It was drilled in Oil Springs Ontario, in 1858.

   How do I know this? Because I went there last year.

   It was my oily pilgrimage. And I did a version of it again this year. Off to Cushing, the oil capital of the world, the intersection of pipes criss-crossing the continent and the spot where WTI is theoretically priced and where the Keyston Pipeline (the original one) has its terminus.

   Even there, people had no idea what was happening. “We don’t need Canadian oil!” Umm, yes you do, see this giant tank with the Enbridge logo on it? That’s a Canadian company. Storing Canadian product. Sheesh.

   Then you go to New Brunswick and people talk about export taxes and cutting Americans off oil and that we can somehow supply Canadian demand through a refinery there. But we can’t. It’s not set up that way. Virtually all our oil transits the United States whether it is bound for Sarnia, Michigan, Illinois or Cushing. It is impossible to harm the United States in an energy war without self-destruction. And I know about 100 million truck drivers currently stuck in traffic on the 401 who won’t stand for it.

3. It is worth remembering that Canada and its eastern provinces are really old. Why do I say this? Because as a relatively young province in Alberta we don’t maybe appreciate as much the history and effort required to settle places like Nova Scotia, New Brunswick or PEI or homesteads along the Saint Lawrence River, never mind knitting together a country that stretches 5,500 km east to west and 4,600 km north to south. We do complain a lot, some legitimate grievances and power struggles, but it is safe to say that we haven’t been repeatedly fought over, had our towns burned down, been expelled, allowed back and conquered yet again. Then fought over again and threatened with invasion. All before even becoming an actual country in 1867.The first suckers who came to North America were the French, followed soon after by the British. One of the flash points where the biggest initial conflicts occurred just happens to be in and around where we were, where access to fish and land and wood was a really, really big deal.

   I won’t go into a history lesson except to say there was no love lost between the French, the British, the American colonies, the (wanting to be neutral) Acadians (original settlers) and, of course, the First Nations.

   Early Canadian history in a nutshell. The French were bad. The British were assholes who just wanted everyone to do what they said and would burn down your fort if you said no. The Acadians were caught in the middle and victimized and the First Nations played off one against the other and marginalized. No one was covered in glory, yet eventually we survived.

   Oh, and the United States? They’ve been invading and trying to take territory from Canada since long before the Revolutionary War and us becoming a country. And for a considerable period afterward both through military force and economic coercion.

   This Trump Tariff War and 51^st state nonsense? It’s been around since the 1700’s. Trump may be doing his thing with mean tweets, social media rage-farming and cockamamie economic theory but we have been the wee little country in the way of manifest destiny for a long time. This too shall pass.

4. Everyone we met was super-excited to hear that we were from Calgary. There were exactly zero negative comments, even when we tried to trick people into making them. Many knew people who had moved to Alberta or had travelled to Alberta or were thinking of doing either themselves.
5. Travelling alone with my wife/partner and best friend for four weeks was a revelation. Who knew we got along so well? It’s easy to forget all that when you are consumed with raising kids and work and life. The time together was awesome. Some Maritime hotels not so much. I am also apparently something of a terrible driver.
6. Food in the various locations we travelled to was really, really good. Whether it was going back for “the best sandwich my wife has ever had” in Stratford, lobster roll in PEI, freaking reindeer in Iceland, a greasy spoon breakfast anywhere or multiple iterations of seafood chowder, we were treated to abundance and flavour. Except for the Pickle Barrel. Yuck. Sure there were some duds, but they were easily outnumbered by the good ones. Freshly ground burgers in Iceland at a popping food hall or gourmet multi-course meal at a spa retreat in Ontario or a fancy dinner at the on-campus fancy steak house in Stillwater– it was all good.
7. It is amazing how ridiculously easy it is to travel inside of Canada. No currency conversion, no border chaos. We were able to fly to Moncton direct, completely avoiding the soul-sucking pandemonic hellscape that is Pearson Airport. Coming home we were a grand total of 25 minutes from our hotel to the car rental return to bag drop to security to the Air Canada lounge – and that was at Pearson! And our bags showed up everywhere. I even managed to hit three provinces in one day while we were in the Maritimes. Woot!
8. I take back everything I have ever said about Alberta needing to adopt a PST to smooth out tax revenue from oil and gas royalties. DON’T DO IT!!! If there is one single shining example of the Alberta Advantage remaining, it’s the lack of a PST. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe in taxes funding government, just not this particular one. Especially when it comes to restaurants. With the average tip now being 20%, adding this to the 18 billion % HST means that your restaurant bill is a full third higher than the price listed on the menu. It’s the textbook definition of sticker shock.
9. The rest of Canada seems to like Canada just fine. We both remarked to ourselves and each other how many Canadian flags were on proud display at houses and businesses all through our trip. The identification with Canada is quite strong and the anti-American sentiment can be palpable at times although that sentiment is directed at government, individuals are largely exempt from animosity. Maybe us Albertans can see a way to get over ourselves and join the team, especially since the leader of the opposition, a staunch federalist, is actually from Alberta and holds a seat here. Plus, the Prime Minister grew up here. We seem to have some friends in high places, if only we could figure out how to leverage that. But what do I know. Side note – no one is really talking about the Alberta referendum. Maybe it’s a social media phenomenon, but the trade war with the US matters more. And in the US, they really have no idea but there is a sense amongst people I talked to that they are doing something bad to Canada and we are kinda mad.People in Iceland couldn’t care less.
10. I know it’s a unifying Canadian thing to do to make endless fun of Toronto and I get it. Toronto is big, messy, crowded and to an outsider, kind of unfriendly, and weirdly narcissistic for a city. But the rest of Ontario, at least the parts we visited aside from Brampton, was lovely. We ponly got lost once. Tons of cute towns, with great restaurants, neat and tidy houses flying Canadian flags and happy welcoming people. The Maritimes was similar.

 

Final rambling point that may lose me some readers.

 

Canadians live in a ridiculous bubble of comfort and security. We are energy independent. We have glorious and copious amounts of cheap food. Notwithstanding committing to spending more in the future, our defense is guaranteed by a militaristic behemoth superpower to the south and our politics are in general petty, parochial and, quite frankly, embarrassing.

 

Our products cost less, we have no specific threats to our well-being and yet we still manage to be a flaming dumpster fire when we want to be.

 

Evidence of this?

 

We are faced with a tariff and trade war on the southern flank at the same time as we are engaged in debating a pointless and delusional separatist movement in Alberta with the provincial government happily playing along in order to keep the loonies from breaking off and giving the provincial NDP the wedge they might need to score another upset win. Separatism in Quebec is starting to again rear its ugly head, if only because the political cycle in that province moves there once a generation.

 

It’s, to be honest, bananas.

 

Look, I get it.

 

Lots of people don’t like the Liberals.

 

Lots don’t like the Conservatives.

 

Some people in the NDP don’t like themselves.

 

We have problems and as I have said previously, all the provinces have legitimate grievances, but everything is fixable. What we continually lose sight of is the spirit of compromise and partnership that knit this country together in a deluge of selfish demands, misinformed or deceptive interpretation of actual facts and political theatre and opportunism that chips away at the foundations of what we are or might aspire to be as a country. We had a brief surge of nationalism in the throes of the Federal election and now again at the height of Trump Tariff mania, but now that the hard work has to be done, we are back to pointing fingers and blaming everyone but ourselves.

 

I keep reading from people I respect that the upcoming referendum in Alberta should be used to send a message to the Federal government and voting to pursue a further referendum is some form of leverage. That’s crazy talk. If anything, that approach, especially telegraphed will result in the loss of leverage where the rest of Canada gets fed up and says “enough with this”. It’s the same twisted logic that makes people say we should give in to Trump’s demands and cut whatever deal we can and move on. It’s counter-intuitive and in each instance a form of giving up. Maybe the 51^st state ain’t so bad? Carney is a traitor. Smith is a traitor. It’s all nonsense.

 

I find it all so hard to stomach but if the feeling of a large bloc of the population towards our constitution as a country is ambivalence, then we’ve got a problem bigger than Trump tariffs. Do we really want to live in a country where a sizeable chunk of the population isn’t willing to do the dirty work and fight for a country grown through centuries and sacrifice, expanding thousands of kilometers across a spectacular and unforgiving continent because of perceived grievances that suggest it can be broken up at the drop of a hat because of “things”? Are we going to lose what we have to the loudest grifters in the room because we were indifferent and had other things to do? I can’t agree with that.

 

Separatist movements are at their core selfish and mean-spirited and, I’m sorry to say it, especially here. They are driven by delusions that somehow we are being held back because of the “other” – immigrants, other parts of the country, Liberals, taxes, Federal Conservatives, the health care system, pension plans, the RCMP, not enough pipelines, post exit access to the coast from “agreements” that don’t even exist. It’s a toddler’s tantrum!

 

I was born, grew up and lived in Quebec from 1965 to 1992. I know what separatism does. Want to know why Quebec gets so much equalization? Because they f-ing lit their economy on fire with separatism and have been playing catch-up ever since. Quebec, not Ontario, was the centre of Canada until “maître chez nous” necessitated the move of the gravitational centre.

 

Look, I didn’t set out for this to be some celebration of Canada or a take down of people’s attitudes towards whether Canada should remain a whole or not – that’s still to come.

 

But…

 

If all it has taken me me to shift my opinion about, say (and not to pick on), Ontario, was to simply go there for a few days outside of the Toronto bubble, I might humbly suggest that all of those people who want to cut the thing up or are indifferent to what is special about where we live come outside into the daylight every once in a while before they lose the very thing that allows them to feel that way.

 

I have now been to all the Canadian provinces and one territory. I can now add basically the middle of America to that and a molten island in the North Atlantic.

 

Whether I am travelling abroad or inside the country, I can safely say to anyone who will listen (and have admitted to myself) that despite its many flaws we (and I) live in one of the greatest countries in the world and that being here is literally like winning the global quality of life lottery. No trade war, insults from foreign countries or internal separatist strife is ever going to convince me otherwise.

 

We need to stop trying to mess it up and run it down. If we can find a way to work apolitically “together” to fix the things that are broken, we will all be better off. Kind of the same way the whole thing started.

 

We need to be and act Canadian.