Hi people – apologies for missing last week, I was out dealing with some personal matters but I am now back in the saddle and ready to get back out there. And it feels like 2026 is finally heating up and will present a lot of compelling blog topics as we stumble through this, the year of the prancing pony or golden horse or whatever it is. I mean seriously, between Pierre Poilievre trying to out-collapse Donald Trump in net-approval polls to the ongoing crisis in Canadian hockey, there is so much material.

Add into that the MOU and the proposed pipeline to the West Coast that will dump Alberta bitumen into poorly welded, single-hulled scows to ply the stormy waters of the Hecate Strait to permanently poison the pristine BC coast and you have what we bloggers call a “barn-burner” of a year to come.

I mean let’s face it. What with all this separatist sentiment bubbling around and destabilizing the investment and M&A world, at least as it regards, you know, BUYING, SELLING and INVESTING in Alberta, I find myself with a lot of a free time on my hands.

So I have questions. Many questions. At least nine. And I’m willing to add in an extra one or two if you, my readers, are able to gather enough signatures amongst yourselves to force me to include it in this list of questions that I’m sure none of you wanted to consider, but dammit, you’re my readers so you have to because I’m putting together another damn list because, notwithstanding the vast array of topics I can write about, I’m avoiding all those difficult topics to put together a list of questions.

I am of course taking my inspiration for this from none other than the embattled Empress of Alberta Danielle Smith, who, faced with a collapsing provincial budget and an imploding (sorry, restructuring and strained) health care sector, an education system in the midst of rebellion and a third rail separatist element chipping away at her power base inside the party, has decided to go on the offensive… offensively.

Always the master (mistress?) of deflection, Danielle Smith has, instead of, you know, fixing stuff, instead decided that THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR HER GOVERNMENT TO WORK ON FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR is a referendum on… immigration and revising the constitution.

You know, all those top-of-mind issues that normal people discuss.

So here we are, preparing ourselves for the nine questions, which we already know (I mean seriously, do we need a referendum? Couldn’t we have just done a doodle-poll?) and which we are being forced to go to the ballot box to answer in October.

Seriously? We elected people for this? This is the priority?

I know Danielle – she is a smart lady. Surely she can multi-task?

And now we have the spectre of the lowered bar separatist survey-monkey signature gatherers getting their question included – in a referendum they had no control of making happen, conveniently arranged for them by none other than Alberta’s provincial government and noted separatist waffler – Danielle Smith.

Well at least I will have the opportunity to write, yet again, on what I perceive as the absolute stupidity of the separatist cause. But I’m getting ahead of myself, there will be plenty of opportunities for that going forward.

In the meantime, as I said. I have questions. So I’m going to put them out here for everyone to consider. Especially Danielle, because I think these questions should be on the referendum ballot. I mean why restrict yourself to nine (or ten!) when you can double or triple that number? I mean it’s just paper and time.

Bear with me. Did I mention I have lots of questions?

Ranked Choice

On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 1 being irrelevant/not at all and 10 being really, really important) please rank the following.

1. Having a fully functioning health care sector
2. Having a properly funded public education system that provides equal access and opportunity for children
3. Having a provincial police force
4. Having a pension plan managed by AIMCO and guaranteed by the province, not the feds
5. Continuing to blame Justin Trudeau (who, might I remind you is currently out of office and canoodling with a pop star) for perceived alienation
6. Having a government out there fighting to make sure that Alberta has elected senators
7. Affordability
8. Government working for the majority of Albertans and not having their chain yanked by overly loud and likely foreign funded special interests
9. Getting on with building a pipeline
10. Having my government consult me about every damn thing instead of doing its job

The next set of questions are Yes/No questions.

1. Do you now or ever want Alberta to be its own tiny, economically exposed, land-locked and otherwise easily exploited and extorted country.
2. Do you want to be part of the United States
3. Do you believe that a separate Alberta, given its already suspect management of public finances, will be able to magically transform into the richest sovereign nation in the world, on a par with such slave labour exploiting oil-rich fiefdoms as Saudi Arabia and the United Emirates
4. Conversely, do you think an independent Alberta would end up more like American Samoa – a curiosity that most people couldn’t find on a map with guidance
5. Do you think Alberta should fix its fiscal house before wasting anymore time with separatist nonsense
6. Do you think Alberta should be the sponsor of the MOU pipeline
7. Do you think whatever part of Keystone XL can be revived should be revived
8. Do you want another major natural gas export pipeline built to the United States.
9. Do you think a separatist movement by petition has the same legitimacy as a grass-roots political party (like the Parti-Quebeocis)
10. Do you blame Mark Carney for everything or just most stuff?
11. Should an independent Alberta get rid of the metric system?
12. Are you willing to give up Canada’s National Parks?
13. Do you think First Nations treaties (with Canada) will just roll over?
14. If they don’t roll over, will it be a colossal shit show to renegotiate?
15. Do the Stampeders and Elks have to move to Saskatoon and Kelowna respectively?
16. Will a separate Alberta remain rat free?
17. Should Albertans be required to show their passport to get on the Great Divide chair at Sunshine?
18. Will Canada (yes) or Alberta (no) own the TransMountain Pipeline system?

The next set of Questions are Multiple Choice

1. The Canadian Hockey loss is:
   1. A sign that Canadian hockey has lost its way
   2. The end of our national identity
   3. Trudeau’s fault because of that tweet a year ago
   4. A 3×3 OT gimmicky annoyance exacerbated by a lack of commitment to back-checking
2. The separatists going to Washington to solicit support from the Trump administration was:
   1. Dumb
   2. Treasonous
   3. Treasonously dumb
   4. Naïve
3. A sovereign Alberta would be:
   1. Landlocked
   2. Economically dependent on two strong neighbours
   3. Easy to extort and take advantage of
   4. Nifty
4. At just over 220, Calgary has the 2^nd highest number of head offices in Canada. Post separation, how many would leave
   1. 0 to 50
   2. 50 – 100
   3. 100 – 150
   4. All of them
5. Canada has two major airlines – Air Canada and WestJet, one of which is based in Calgary but owned by Toronto-based Onex, the other is Air Canada. Cabotage rules preclude a foreign-owned airline from flying between destinations domestically. In a separate Alberta, WestJet’s smartest play would be:
   1. Ditch Calgary, move the Head Office to Winnipeg and stop flying within Alberta
   2. Consolidate operations to Calgary and cut its number of flights by 50%
   3. Spin out the existing Alberta business and cut its losses
   4. Get acquired by Air Canada and pretend the decision to leave was made in Toronto by Liberals.
6. Canada and Alberta’s largest export market is the United States. Dealing with the United States post separation would be:
   1. Easier
   2. Harder
   3. Stay the same
   4. A clusterf***
7. The President of the United States – Donald Trump – has expressed interest in making Canada the 51^st or 52^nd state (depending on how that Greenland thing works out). Based on his public comments, what do you think his reaction to an independent Alberta
   1. Like a hungry rabid dog
   2. Supportive, measured and diplomatic
   3. Militant and aggressive
   4. Dismissive – we would be so dependent on the US we would make American Samoa look like Japan.
8. If Alberta was to declare independence, what would its Olympic men’s hockey team look like
   1. The Hanson brothers
   2. Cale Makar and a bunch of scrubs from the Bonavista Breakers
   3. A bunch of out-of-shape oil field service sales guys who play in beer leagues to make sales
   4. A perennial last place finisher
9. An independent Alberta’s national anthem would be:
   1. Photograph – Nickelback
   2. Alberta Bound – Paul Brandt
   3. Four String Winds – Ian Tyson
   4. Star Spangled Banner – Whitney Houston
10. Who’s going to run this gong show anyway?
    1. The clowns at the Alberta Prosperity Project who can’t even send out a tweet without a typo
    2. A consortium of Oil and Gas execs who decide not to relocate to Canada
    3. Donald Trump
    4. Fine, Jason Kenney
11. Quebec tried this separation thing a couple of times. Economically this has:
    1. Been a wash, Alberta money has paid for their sins
    2. Been a disaster – the province was set back generations
    3. Allowed other parts of Canada to succeed
    4. Never made a lick of sense
12. How many export pipelines actually cross an international border in Alberta?
    1. Less than 5
    2. More than 5
    3. None
    4. This is a trick question, isn’t it?
13. Pretend you moved here from Montreal in the late 1990’s, this whole thing is:
    1. Déjà vu mixed with a heaping helping of PTSD
    2. The natural evolution of a provincial political culture that has more in common with Quebec than any Albertan can comfortably imagine
    3. Making you rethink those big dollar purchases
    4. I just want to work, ski and raise my family.
14. If Alberta leaves Canada, the next non-USA team to win the Stanley Cup will be
    1. Montreal Canadiens
    2. Vancouver Canucks
    3. Toronto Maple Leafs (ha!)
    4. The Greenland Flames
15. The current Alberta budget deficit is projected to be $6-$10 billion. An independent Alberta that maintains the same level of service we all expect will have a budget deficit:
    1. Lower than this
    2. About the same
    3. Higher than this
    4. Are we really having this discussion
16. Who will head the first Alberta Central Bank
    1. Todd Hirsch
    2. Stephen Harper
    3. Mark Carney
    4. Chat GPT
17. Alberta’s National Bird should be
    1. The Brown Eagle
    2. The magpie (those bastards hate everything)
    3. The Canada Goose
    4. A bat
18. Given the almost perfect overlap between Alberta separatists and Alberta-based Kelowna homeowners, what should happen with these now cross-border properties
    1. Confiscation with no compensation
    2. Tax, tax and more tax
    3. Forced sale to accommodate affordable housing
    4. Scorched earth retreat
19. How open should BC be to the type of economic extortion and entitlement being floated by the separatist movement
    1. It’s BC – they have no say
    2. Everything is up for negotiation
    3. There will never be another western pipeline
    4. Expect guerilla warfare
20. What should the currency be called?
    1. The real loonie
    2. Kleinbucks
    3. Lump’o’coal
    4. Fool’s gold
21. With a new Alberta more than likely to be required to issue passports to its new “citizens” if they want to travel to their summer homes in BC or their winter getaways in Arizona and Palm Springs, how effectively do you think the muppets currently flogging independence will be able to deliver these new passports
    1. Landlocked and imprisoned – we will never be able to leave
    2. The lines will stretch into eternity, but the elites will get everything they want
    3. Will be super-efficient and made of paper like our stupid health cards
    4. Shh – just tell people they can keep their Canadian ones
22. What is the over/under in months of a US takeover of a bankrupt Alberta when they call their $500 billion loan?
    1. Less than 6 months
    2. 6 months to 1 year
    3. 1 to 3 years
    4. Never
23. When Alberta becomes the 51^st, 52^nd or 53^rd state, which American luminary becomes our governor
    1. Michael J. Fox
    2. Brady Tkachuk
    3. Marco Rubio
    4. Eric Trump

The Final Question is a long form essay question.

Please explain in 800 words or less why you think Alberta Separation is a good or bad idea making explicit reference to historical precedent over the last 50 years using provable facts and supportable assumptions. Marks will be deducted for sweeping generalizations, references to equalization if it can be easily determined the writer doesn’t understand the program and whataboutisms. The writer must prove their point and not ask others to disprove them. Racist and intolerant commentary will result in points being deducted. Pie in the sky assumptions, rosy forecasts and moonbeams and rainbows are not acceptable arguments, nor are sweeping statements like “this is dumb”, “it’s dumb and makes no sense”, “why are we wasting our time on this” or “OMG, can we just move on.” Lack of knowledge of trade flows, the general economy, investment and capital flows, major Alberta industries, first nations relationships, demographic make-up of the province, different political beliefs and how commerce works are not acceptable excuses to not put in the work and give flimsy answers. If you write down Alberta has to separate because of the libtards and commies, that will be considered a zero. The same goes for calling the separatist movement rednecks and nazis.

Well there you have it folks.

Questions. You can provide the answers if you want.

And if Dani is going to make us answer her nine (maybe ten!) weirdo questions in some referendum/test that we never actually asked for, I am 100% entitled to try and get my own questions answered